It’s happened to countless people: One day, they realize a loved one is battling a substance use disorder. And it can be devastating.
Some people might blame themselves for not seeing the symptoms of addiction earlier. And many people simply feel helpless.
However, if you ever find yourself in this situation, you can take positive action. You can sit down with your loved one and talk to them about treatment programs.
It probably won’t be an easy conversation. But know that, with empathy and care, you could make all the difference.
Table of Contents
Recognizing the Signs
When people develop a substance use disorder, there are often multiple symptoms. Here are some common examples:
- They seem more private and withdrawn. Their relationships suffer greatly as they shut out spouses, romantic partners, friends, and even their own children.
- They engage in risky behaviors such as reckless driving.
- The quality of their professional work or schoolwork declines. They start missing work or school days, or they might be frequently tardy. In turn, their performance reviews or grades worsen.
- They often seem disheveled or dirty. Maybe they no longer care about what they wear when they go out. And you might detect unusual odors when you’re near them.
- They lose weight, and they no longer have much of an appetite. Also, they start sleeping much less or much more.
- Their skin color changes somewhat.
- They have bloodshot eyes, or their pupils look bigger or smaller than before.
- They usually seem tired or listless.
- They have violent mood swings, or they often seem irritable or angry. Addiction can sometimes cause paranoia and chronic anxiety, too.
- They have money problems when they never did before. Perhaps they stop paying their bills on time, they overdraw their accounts, or they keep asking to borrow money from friends and family members.
How to Approach the Conversation
When you bring up someone’s substance use disorder, that person might resist what you’re saying. In fact, the pushback could be intense.
Thus, you’ll want to be as persuasive as possible. These steps could help:
1. Know What You Want to Say
Given how difficult this conversation may be — and the resistance you’ll likely get — preparation is a must.
First, you might do a little research beforehand. You could read about substance use disorders, for example. Or, better yet, you could speak to an addiction expert. That professional could explain specific treatment options and answer any questions you have.
Once you feel comfortable with your level of knowledge, try practicing what you’ll say in front of a mirror. That way, you’ll have greater poise and confidence throughout the conversation.
2. Choose the Right Moment and Environment
Seek a peaceful, private moment for your talk, a time when the two of you can be alone.
When this conversation takes place, there should be no distractions: no TVs on, no music playing (unless it’s soft, calming music), no cell phones out, no adorable dogs playing on the floor, and so on.
You might have this person over for lunch, dinner, tea, or coffee on a day when neither of you have anything else planned. Then, after your meal or snack, you could ask the person to join you in the living room or another comfortable spot.
Especially important, this person should not be intoxicated, hungover, high, or coming down from drugs when you’re talking.
3. Speak With Compassion, Avoiding Blame or Shame
Throughout this talk, your tone and attitude are crucial. Speak in a calm, gentle manner; don’t raise your voice at all. And avoid accusatory language — calling the person “selfish” or a “user,” for instance.
Indeed, do your best not to judge or express judgments. Likewise, avoid criticizing this person for any actions that have hurt you.
You might talk about how painful it is to see them struggling with their substance use disorder. But try not to make it sound like you’re seeking an apology, even if you feel upset by things that they’ve said or done in the past.
In the future, this person might ask you for forgiveness. But, right now, they’re in a crisis, and all that matters is saving their life.
Rather than shaming, then, focus on the fact that substance use disorder is a physical, diagnosable disease. It affects tens of millions of Americans every year. As such, it’s not a moral issue, and it’s not a matter of personal responsibility.
Thus, throughout this conversation, a key point to emphasize is that “you’re not to blame for your addiction.”
4. Focus on the Positive Impact of Rehab for Their Health and Well-Being
Here are other vital points to raise: A chemical dependency is too powerful for someone to handle alone. And there’s nothing shameful in seeking help.
To the contrary, getting professional addiction treatment is empowering and life-changing. It cleanses and detoxifies the body. It finds the root causes of people’s addictions. It gives them specific ways to avoid triggers and prevent relapses. And getting this help is an act of courage.
So often, with these disorders, professional treatment is the only effective course of action. And, if your loved one seeks such treatment, it might inspire others who have a substance use disorder to get help as well.
When to Seek Professional Help
Going into this conversation, keep in mind that your initial efforts might not work. Your loved one might adamantly deny having a substance use disorder. This person might scoff at the idea. Or they might get angry, even furious, telling you to mind your own business. There’s a chance they’ll just leave in the middle of the talk.
If that happens, do your best to not take it personally. Denial is very common, and the person is not actually angry at you but at the situation they’re in. Not to mention, many people who have an addiction are secretly angry at themselves.
Therefore, remain calm no matter how much your loved one resists what you’re saying. Just remind this person that you’re always there to support them and will always love them. You could also mention that other friends and family members feel the same way.
Finally, if this conversation doesn’t go the way you hope it will, you needn’t give up. Instead, you could contact an interventionist.
What Is an Interventionist?
Interventionists are trained and skilled professionals who help people guide loved ones to rehab programs. For example, if you live on or near Long Island, Long Island Interventionists is an excellent place to find these caring experts.
An interventionist will meet with the loved ones of someone who has a substance use disorder. This professional can help them figure out how to reach that individual. The interventionist can also educate everyone about various treatment options.
Afterwards, this person could mediate an intervention.
Mediating Interventions
Interventions come in different forms. In fact, the one-on-one, honest conversation you originally had with your loved one would count as an intervention.
A classic intervention is when a group of family members and friends sits down with someone struggling with drug addiction, alcohol addiction, or other forms of substance abuse. The group will try to convince the person that the addiction is real and must be addressed. They’ll voice their support, discuss potential treatment plans, and explore options such as inpatient care, outpatient programs, or residential treatment at a treatment center, rehab facility, or drug rehab.
A professional interventionist could help you set up such a meeting, guiding everyone on what to say and how to express those thoughts. With the interventionist’s help, the group might also address concerns like withdrawal symptoms, detoxification, or the need for long-term recovery options.
During the meeting, the interventionist would steer the conversation constructively, serving as a soothing presence and encouraging everyone to be firm, loving, and respectful. This supportive approach gives everyone a chance to share their feelings in a safe space, increasing the likelihood of a successful intervention.
Finally, throughout this process, it’s essential to keep your main goal in mind: helping your loved one toward recovery, whether through inpatient or outpatient programs, family therapy sessions, or ongoing aftercare. Providing this support can be challenging and may meet with fierce resistance, especially if co-occurring disorders or cravings arise. But with evidence-based methods and professional support, there is hope for a positive outcome.
At any time, you can contact Long Island Interventions for assistance. They can help your loved one embark on the long, rewarding, and life-saving road to sobriety and improved mental health.
Published on: 2024-10-31
Updated on: 2024-10-31
