Substance use disorder (SUD) is a chronic disease that primarily affects how the brain works. For that reason, it’s quite common for people suffering from SUD to be struggling with other co-occurring disorders and develop unhealthy behaviors.
Besides their physical well-being, mental health, and social life, for those living with SUD, their relationship with their loved ones is among the first aspects of their lives that are affected by the illness. They may develop a dysfunctional dynamic with their family members and friends.
Codependency is one such unhealthy relationship dynamic between a caretaker, often a partner or a close relative, and the person suffering from substance addiction.
In this guide, we’ll explain what codependency is and how it relates to alcohol and substance addiction. We’ll also discuss the best treatment options addressing both alcoholism and codependency.
Table of Contents
What Is Codependency?
Codependency, in simple words, is a toxic relationship situation where one person derives their self-worth and validation from someone else. The other needs attention and care, while the codependent person needs or desires to be needed.
We all have codependent tendencies in our relationships. However, it becomes harmful when it develops into an excessive, all-consuming need to serve or be served, often at the expense of the codependent individual.
Experts characterized codependency as a learned behavior, and sometimes called “relationship addiction” due to its obsessive and compulsive qualities. It can happen in all sorts of relationships—whether familial, romantic, or between close friends.
What Does a Codependent Person Look Like?
A codependent relationship consists of a giver and a taker, locked in a problematic cycle of caretaking and reliance, an imbalance of power that primarily favors the taker.
The Giver
The giver is the one providing support. This can be emotional, physical, or financial. They usually fear what would happen to the other person if they take a step back from their dysfunctional relationship.
It’s common for givers to feel that they must submit to their loved one’s demands. They justify destructive behavior and act as if they’re responsible for the other party’s actions.
Unable to set boundaries, they spend most of their time responding to the other party’s needs. This may result in a loss of identity as their personal role and sense of self diminish from the growing demands of the taker.
Givers have a strong desire to matter to the taker, sacrificing their personal lives, activities, and other important relationships. Over time, they may start feeling guilty whenever they prioritize themselves.
The Taker
As the name implies, the taker is the receiving end in a codependent relationship. They heavily rely on the giver to meet their own needs, sometimes regardless of the other’s emotional well-being.
They may attempt to control their loved ones to take care of them through manipulative means. It’s common for some takers to act as if they’re helpless. They may also feel upset when people attempt to set boundaries.
Lacking coping skills, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions by using their relationship as an emotional crutch.
Takers may continue to act irresponsibly, knowing that their spouse, parents, or siblings will take care of them. Through this cycle of reliance, they provide givers the sense of satisfaction from being needed.
Spotting Codependency
People in a codependent relationship typically exhibit various codependent behaviors. These signs of codependency can include:
- Low self-esteem: Deeply tied to their caregiver role, the codependent partner may think and feel that they’re unlovable and constantly depend on the other for validation.
- People-pleasing: People’s opinions matter a lot to a codependent individual. This may compel them to do things at their own expense to maintain other people’s positive opinion of them.
- Caretaking and reliance: Givers in a codependent relationship don’t feel secure or comfortable unless they feel that they’re needed.
- No boundaries: Unhealthy boundaries are a hallmark of codependent individuals. They find saying “no” difficult and, in some cases, can appear “obsessed” with the other party’s needs.
However, while thriving in giving and taking, codependency may also result in feelings of disappointment and anger.
Givers often have an unspoken expectation to receive the same attention and care from others. When they feel their efforts are unappreciated, it can lead to profound feelings of discontent and anger toward the taker.
Codependency, Alcoholism, and Addiction Recovery
Many codependent relationships have an underlying unresolved issue. This can be a mental illness, any form of abuse, or substance addiction, such as alcoholism.
Compounded by dysfunctional family dynamics, parents, spouses, siblings, or children of people struggling with alcohol and drug abuse can easily fall into toxic role-taking and codependence.
A parent can feel entirely responsible for their adult child’s SUD and recovery. Conversely, the children of people recovering from addiction may think that they need to take on the role of the caretaker.
While taking care of loved ones is natural, codependency can lead to all sorts of problems that can seriously affect the recovering SUD patient, the caregiver, and the integrity of their relationship.
Why Codependency Is Detrimental to Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery
Although not classified as a mental health disorder or a dual diagnosis, codependency can have a tremendous impact on addiction recovery.
One of the tendencies of a codependent individual is to tolerate and make excuses for their loved one’s destructive behaviors. Spouses or parents may protect their partners or children from the issues caused by their substance addiction.
However, despite their good intentions, the codependent person can end up enabling substance abuse. Some may even avoid resolving the addiction, for fear of their loved ones no longer needing them.
Shielded from genuine accountability, the person recovering from alcohol and drug misuse may continue to avoid taking ownership of their choices. Instead of nurturing independence and emotional growth, codependency keeps both parties in a toxic loop.
The person living with SUD uses alcohol or drugs to cope, the codependent individual enables their behavior, and the cycle repeats, compromising their chances at recovery.
Potential Harm to the Caregiver
Studies found that givers in codependent relationships involving drug and alcohol abuse can suffer many serious consequences. Their mental health is primarily at risk, but they may also experience:
- Straining important relationships
- Losing close friends
- Feeling helplessness
- Developing substance use disorders
- Turning to gambling
- Struggling with their personal career
- Neglecting to look after oneself
Focusing on the addicted loved one, a codependent person may suffer from physical and mental health disorders, including depression.
Treatment Options For Alcoholism and Codependence
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), AUD remains one of the most prevalent substance use disorders in the US, with over 27 million people ages 12 and above suffering from the condition.
If you or someone you know is taking care of a friend or a family member struggling with alcohol misuse and codependence, here are some of the evidence-based inpatient/outpatient interventions that addiction treatment centers can offer.
- Detox: Alcohol rehab typically begins with detoxification therapy. This is when, under medical guidance, the person with SUD stops or gradually decreases their intake to rid their system of the substance.
- Family education: Some facilities provide family education as a standard part of their treatment programs. These sessions aim to encourage healthy boundaries, improve communication, and resolve enabling behaviors.
- Behavioral therapy: Talk therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy can help identify and resolve thought patterns that contribute to alcohol use and codependent behaviors. Patients also learn coping mechanisms and healthier ways to think.
- Family therapy: Family therapy can be effective in promoting honest communication between the patient and their family. Its core goals include encouraging people to take ownership of their emotions and behaviors.
- Support groups: Support groups can be beneficial for both the person living with addiction and their caregiver. Meeting with people dealing with similar issues has been shown to reduce feelings of isolation and helplessness.
- Aftercare initiatives: Many treatment plans extend beyond the patient’s time in rehab. Counselling, sober living, support groups, mentorships, and alumni programs are common examples of aftercare.
Serious cases of codependency may require intensive and separate interventions. Codependent individuals may seek help from psychiatric professionals to learn to establish healthy boundaries and recover their self-image.
Bottom Line: Seeking Professional Support
While alcoholism and codependence can feel overwhelming, there are effective treatment options available.
Long Island Interventions provides personalized care and support for people struggling with alcohol use and their family members. Our state-of-the-art facilities and trusted team of addiction recovery professionals are equipped to deal with alcoholism and all its co-occurring issues.
You don’t have to fight substance addiction alone. Reach out to Long Island Interventions and take the step towards sobriety today!
Written by: The Long Island Interventions Editorial Team
Editor: Isaac Adams-Hands
Medically Reviewed by: MedicallyReviewed.com
Published on: November 30, 2025
Updated on: March 1, 2026
